The Chickens Are Coming {Pt. 2}

{Subtitle: Lessons}

  1. Don’t be one of those people… Captain Obvious…or just weird. Don’t be weird.

Now I have thought about this time after time… those obvious statements strangers make to just make conversation that make things awkward if you’re a literal person like me or you just don’t do small talk with random strangers or just get awkward with people you don’t know in general because if you look in the dictionary next to awkard you’ll see Hannah staring at you with her 7th grade school picture with braces and choppy “just learned how to straighten” hair-do.

If I don’t know what to say I’ll stare blankly at you and if I didn’t hear you I’ll just start shaking my head like I understood if I’ve asked “what or huh” too many times and I have no control over my facial expressions. They need a time-out most days.

so….

a. I don’t do awkward turtle moments well. I will find the sick, twisted humor to try to make things less turtley.

b. I can’t hear. True story. Ask my people.

c. I am not held responsible for the things my eyes, eyebrows, mouth, or teeth do if I have some sort of intense emotion or aggitation to things people say or do because I have no control and obviously can’t see my own face.

{in saying that}

So you know thost things people say…

{someone goes to pay with cash to get something oh say at the Walmarts}

Cashier: Your total is $32.11

Person A: Oh I bet you I got 11 cents somewhere

Hannah: $20 says you don’t and you buy my groceries too.

I mean really, Literal Luna over here says she’ll take your bet. Whatcha gonna do when you only have 10 cents.

I win.

I’m sorry but every time I hear people say the “Oh I bet you…”I wonder what someone would do if someone did call their bet.

But I am also the person who has always wondered what would happen if the Trix Rabbit actually got to eat some Trix. I mean would he melt like the Wicked Witch, would he turn colors, would he get sick? Theories people.

So with captain obvious statements… comes the awkard converstaions in the check-out lines when foks go to being nosey looking at what you’re buying.

You know you do it too. You’re there for long periods of time and you start inspecting, trying to play JJ on Criminal minds.

Oh she’s got baby wipes, baby diapers, teething tablets, and bags under her eyes…

“Oh honey–girl I have a teething baby too and team no sleep over here is almost through season 4 of Grey’s Anatomy on Netflix”

But it’s only weird if you say anything…

For example…

Today…

As I mentioned earlier, I let Piper pick out some plants to put in some pots we have to put outside by the back steps to the deck to make it a little more welcoming for Spring, and just atleast try to take part in growing something while my parents and inlaws have these fabulously majestic gardens they’re getting ready to start on.

So I have my groceries, puppy pads, Mt. Dews, make-up, potting soil, and about 7 different little dirt buckets with flowers/leafy beings coming out of them. Obviously to plant… I had potting soil. So here comes Captain Obvious…

“Oh are you going to plant those?”

Sarcastic Sallye over here with the thoughts rolling…

1.No, we’re going to throw them out in the yard and hope for the best

2.No, but my dogs are.

3.No, they’re actually our supper. I’m planting the Oreos.

Reality: “Yes ma’am. I’m a teacher on Spring Break, so that means planting some Spring flowers to get things started off right.” {insert smiles}

But things didn’t stop there….

C.O. to Piper: Are you going to help Mommy plant these pretty flowers?

Piper:….

C.O. stares then looks at me….

Sarcastic Sallye:

a. Nope. Mommy’s on her own.

b.Nerp. Unless Mommy bribes me with an Icee

c. No. I don’t do dirt.

Because those are plausible answers my child would insinuate. She is so much more polite than that {thank you Jesus Almighty} and more polite than I am especially, but does she try to politely not do things. Yes. Absolutely.

Totally fine with it, but me being me—I know her game.

So don’t be Captain Obvious. Make real conversation without asking questions and being nosey with folks’ groceries.

Lesson 2. Don’t think things actually change overnight.

While in the check-out line, I was getting my bags into the buggy & keeping children from getting coo-coo when the cashier asks me my age…

H: 26

C: You married?

H: Yes… have been for almost 5 1/2 years.

C: {looks at co-worker} See.

H: *Stares blankly because I’m not understanding*

C: And did things just work overnight or did your relationship take time?

H:*still very confused where this is going* Definitely took and still takes time. We’ve been together almost 9 years.

C: See. Things like that still happen. People still actually take time to get their lives together then get married.

So here’s my other lesson. One that I myself needed to hear.

Things. Take. Time.

A Lot or a litle, but regardless—they take time.

Be patient.

Why did I need to hear it?

We have a house we are still finishing renovating—taking lots of time–there is always laundry, dishes, things to clean and organize, a farm to make decisions on & do work with, and a whole other list of things, but guess what…

We are learning to be patient with the things on our to-do list and to take advantage of time with our girls and each other and our people.

There will always be projects, dishes, laundry, and our farm; but we won’t get extra days with our 4 year old while she’s 4 and we won’t get a do-over with our overly-adventurous almost 8 month old.

We are learning to give things time. Be patient. And get our lives together.

It may not make sense to anyone else, but it slapped me in the face in the check-out line at Walmart today.

Be patient. Get your lives together.

As my 2 girls were babbling and asking to please eat the popcorn shrimp that the cashier had just scanned and kindly handed to the toddler.

It’s a hard reality I’m learning; be patient, give it time.

Cut yourself some slack too.

Baby rocking & playing LOL Dolls trumps dishes, folding towels, and sweeping the laundry room every time.

Be patient–with yourself, your spouse, your friends. Get your life together–priorities straight. Give it time– give yourself time.

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