Reindeer Paws {A Christmas Story}

As promised… let’s talk about reindeer…

In high school, we were required to take Composition with AP Language if we were going to follow the advanced placement track.

In said Composition class, we of course had to write essay, after essay, after essay to practice our… well…composition of writing pieces.

{Yes, we did other things than simply write.}

So, it was time for a personal narrative…

I wrote about a moment in my life that I thought my mother was going to skin me…

Because you see, when I was probably 7ish…

My great-grandmother bought my cousin and I these huge make-up sets with nail polish in them for Christmas.

I was tickled because I had my own make-up and nail polish to play with that wasn’t Bon Bons brand or Wet’n Wild.

{Let’s be honest… looking back, those little Bon Bons eyeshadow pods were the bomb}

So I took my ginormous make-up kit into my bathroom, pulled the plastic out, and some of the pieces fell…

Like the taupe nail polish that fell onto the counter top behind the sink, shattered, and spilled out onto the counter.

The 7 year-old me panicked, threw a towel ovr it trying to sop it up, and hid it.

“It smells like fingernail polish.”

Yes ma’am, I’m painting my nails.

Now let’s fast forward to the next morning on Christmas…

{obviously the smell of fingernail polish is radiating through that side of the house}

“Hannah did you paint your nails again…”

{Mother goes into the bathroom, moves towel, Hannah starts squalling, Grandma to the rescue of “it was an accident and she was scared of being in trouble on Christmas now just clean it up and let’s have breakfast”}

Now fast forward to 11th grade when I’m writing the personal narrative about this experiece.

To describe the setting, I tried to be all Fancy Nancy Clancy about it and said something to the effect of…

“awaiting reindeer paws on the house top”

Mind you, my teacher sent it off to a writing contest and I won something.

I was so proud of that paper so I let my parents read it.

Also, because by now that story is funny even though I about ruined my bathroom countertop.

My parents start giggling.

Ahem*what’s the problem Stayce?

“You realize reindeer don’t have paws?”

Now Stayce, the song clearly says:

“Up on the house top, reindeer paws”

More laughing.

“Yes. But it’s p-a-u-s-e. Like the reindeer stop and out hops Santa…”

No no. It could be p-a-w-s.

{insert some logic my high school self deemed a good argument}

And thus ending with…

Well. I still won a certificate for my p-a-w-s. So.

Nana-nana-boo-boo. Thhhhhhhppppp

{that would be me sticking my tongue out making a raspberry sound}

So moral of the story.

Children, reindeer do not call their feetsies “paws” and if they do not “pause” on the housetop, Santa goes crashing down and we have a situation like that of the Tim Allen movie.

#proofreadmorecarefully #homonymnsstink #studyharderkids

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