If You Become a Runner

If you become a runner….

Let’s just laugh at that title for a minute because who am I kidding…

By no means am I becoming a runner— even though I feel like I’m pretending I am.

I GO running… I am not A RUNNER.

I am not doing this for pure leisure let’s be clear.

I did buy the cute Addidas, new leggings, and other appropriate attire— but that doesn’t make me a runner at all.

I do the workouts on C25k, but that doesn’t make me a runner either.

I have the myZones app to track my heartrate and workout, but that also doesn’t make me a runner.

I drive the struggle bus on running long distances in all honesty.

I do the workouts

get the steps

record my mileage {Jeez I sound like a car}

set goals {ever so small}

I stretch {and am reminded I am not the flexible 15 year-old cheerleader anymore— sweet mother}

I do it bit by bit— because if I don’t I’ll quit.

I will straight quit and throw everything away if I don’t keep trying to go farther.

I’ll get bored.

{BUT}

If we play pretend for a minute.

If we pretend I’m a “runner.”

Then let’s explain the pictures.

Exhibit A:

This is my running route {unless it’s nasty outside and cold and therefore I make laps around the couch and kitchen island…true story bro}.

WHO would not love running this beautiful scenery that is at our liberty to take advantage of on the SAU campus?

Sunshine, green pastures, and your own built-in cheerleaders to motivate you {thanks moo-cows}.

Just go outside. You don’t have to jump head first into it, just little steps at a time.

Exhibit B:

The proof.

Yes Rachel— I did 15,379 steps yesterday between my run and normal walking in my daily life. I move a little.

Those activity rings were all kinds of happy about it.

Exhibit C:

The workout.

I did the devil derived workout straight from what felt like Hades…

Week 6…. day 1….

The looks on peoples faces when I would cross their path…

“No I’m good— Swear I can breathe.”

“No I don’t need an enhaler.”

“No this is normal for me.”

“STOP STARING DOG GONE IT.”

So yes. Week 6 is more difficult than Week 5…. or 4….or 3… or 2 or 1… just in case you didn’t know.

Exhibit D:

Running in these no slip grip, super low cut socks from Target is fabulous.

I hate super thick socks in my running shoes and I hate them to show…

{I’m possibly scarred from that era of 2004-2010 when no one wanted their ankle socks to show so we rolled those suckers and folded them down into our shoes.}

#truestorybro

{AND}

They are mix-matched and proud… just saying.

I am lucky to find 2 socks of the same style—- so don’t be a Karen about it.

It keeps me young.

{AND FINALLY}

If you become a runner…

You’re going to be hungry…

Because you burn a lot of calories obviously…

So if you become a runner, then you might say want a chicken patty sandwich without the actual sandwich part.

If you’re like me, you’ll want all your usual sandwich toppings like pickles on it to eat with a fork— because I mean you’re trying to eat less carbs and do your workouts because your healthy weight is JUST over the horizon…

{You can see it…}

If you’re also like me, you had used up the pickles on something else and forgot to open and put the new jar in the fridge.

So…

You have to go without pickles because you’re husband is working and you can’t open the brand new jar.

{AND}

This is when you text him and remind him this is why you married his big, strong-self because you can’t open jars or reach things without standing on the countertop.

Exhibit E:

After doing a full workout, eating your supper, and then sitting with your tiniest human on the kitchen floor because she likes to wiggle into your lap…

You realize that you need to invest in some better self tanner…

Yours apparently is not sweat-proof…

You have apparently gone through the last 6 hours with these triangles on the insides of your elbows with an orange edge for all to see…

That’s fun….

So if you become a runner…

Get a good running scene, good socks, someone to open the pickle jar for supper, and some good self-tanner that won’t leave you orange and melting like the Wicked Witch.

#runhannahrun #runthefarmroad #eatallthefood #eatwell #feedyourbody #feedyoursoul

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